Day 17 - highs and lows of the past year

2011 was a weird year for me. I can’t say it was horrible because it actually wasn’t. I went through many transformations. This past year was a year of me changing my eating habits. I have to say I am living a healthier lifestyle now. I went from eating all fried foods and no veggies at all to cutting out the majority of fried foods and always eating veggies every day. I no longer reach for the cinnamon raisin bagel, much less any bagel anymore. I always opt for whole wheat or whole grain bread. I started to drink sugar free soda. I am so used to it now that regular soda is too sweet for me.

I changed emotionally too because I learned things about myself that I was blocking. I finally began to open up more about things I was feeling and learned that I did not really love myself. Now that I realize this problem I am learning to do that and affirming myself that I am beautiful, I am amazing, I am worthy of love, I am healthy, I can lose weight, I am awesome, I am a size 11. Saying positive affirmations have made me smile again. We have the power to change our minds of negativity and making them positive.

I learned to just get out and enjoy life and get out there and become friends with people. I challenged myself in ways unimaginable for me. I started doing more public speaking by doing open mic sessions. I learned that people enjoyed my poetry quite a bit!

I dated different people than normal. I surrounded myself with people who I normally would not affiliate with. Things did not necessarily work out but it wasn’t sour either.

I befriended some really great people, some of which I knew from the past but never really talked to them. Those friendships are some of the strongest ties I have today. It made me a believer that people come to your life at certain times for a reason.

The bad parts are that some relationships failed. It just happens in life. I let my insecurities get the best of me but not anymore. I let someone in who was not interested in pursuing the same as I am. After dealing with that I ended up taking a bit of a break from dating and another friend expressed interest and there we go.

I can’t say it is a bad thing because I learned things about me from him too. I learned that while yes I am a strong woman, a part of me likes a man who is not afraid to lead me in the right direction. Never associate with a man who is afraid to tell you that you are beautiful but most importantly, he shows you that he means his words.

The lowest point is probably seeing my best friend’s father suffering with cancer. Towards the end of 2011, I saw my Dad Jones getting more and sicker from cancer. Seeing your best friend deal with their parent very ill is not easy. I saw the emotions that I went through when I lost dad through her and it reopened that wound again. It was hard. It was depressing.

2011 had its highs and lows for me. I have shed tears for people more than I wanted to but I learned so much in 2011 about myself and that made me stronger.